Archive for 8. September 2009

on the long run

September 8, 2009

I started smoking again after quitting for 7 years. I was in a what-is-the-point-of-everything mood while visiting my 92 year-old father (who still smokes!), bummed one of his cigarettes, and was hooked again…

I don’t think I will make it through 7 bloody years. Today was another climax of craving. I got up at 5, cycled on the ergometer (the fag after the exercise is the best in my memory), worked from 7 to half 7, those bloody deadlines, that bloody fair. Additionally it was Indian summer weather, 25 degrees Celsius and more. I don’t remember anymore how I could resist the nicotine. The craving is fading away slowly and it pisses me off. I let the occasion pass to smoke a roll-up while I was craving it. There will be more.